I had a dream last night. It was the same dream I remembered having a few years ago. Do you ever get that feeling where you think, “Haven’t I been here before?” or “Didn’t we already have this conversation?” but it’s happening in a dream? In mine, I remember thinking, “Oh, I’ve been in this place before. Many years ago. Huh, how did I get here?” I called this “dream déjà vu”.

Except in my dreams, I never have my hearing aids on, so everything is muted. I can see people talking to me, but I can’t hear their voices. It’s like they’re mouthing something, and even when I try to read their lips, I can’t make out what they’re saying.

So, over the years or over the past few years, I’ve had small conversations about déjà vu with people I know. Not the dream kind, but the kind that happens when you’re awake. Some people say they’ve experienced it. Others say they haven’t, or they aren’t sure, or they just don’t remember.

Some people think déjà vu doesn’t mean anything. Others, especially those who are religious, believe it comes from a pre-mortal life. Some feel like they dreamed something and later watched it play out in real life. Others don’t feel the need to interpret it and just write it off as the mind creating a memory illusion.

A friend once told me that whenever she experiences déjà vu, it’s a sign she’s exactly where she’s meant to be. To her, it means the life she’s living is right for her in that moment, like the universe is giving her a wink. I thought that was an interesting perspective. Whether it’s a little wild or super hopeful, I kind of like the idea.

Even though déjà vu is understood to be a normal brain mechanism and not a memory glitch, I like to make my life a bit more fun and imagine she might be right. Whenever it happens to me, I feel like it’s a sign, or at least I want to believe it’s a sign that I’m on the right path, with the right people, in the right place. Just a moment of made-up comfort that the universe is giving me a wink and letting me know I’ll be fine.

Isn’t that a comforting thought? Or maybe a comforting illusion?

What do you think?

Well, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later. Thanks.

My nose is a little stuffed today, something in the air, I guess. Don’t worry, I’m taking care of myself. I’ve got my herbal tea in a mug with a cat on it, funny enough, it looks just like my cat, MeiLi and I’ve got my Kleenex right next to me, and yes, I took my meds. So I’m good, guys. I’m good.

You’ve probably already guessed that I read lips all the time. We Deaf people are super visual, so nonverbal cues play a huge role in communication, things like facial expressions, body language, eye movements, and of course, lip reading.

That’s why I always ask people to be mindful of what’s on their face. Sunglasses, chewing gum, big beards… all those little things can block context and make lipreading harder. I’m not saying shave your beard, but it definitely takes me a bit longer to adjust when someone has one.

And eye contact, oh man, that’s another big one. I actually have a story about this one. So, my daughter made a new friend in the neighborhood. Whenever we go on walks, her friend would sometimes talk, but she wasn’t making eye contact with me, so I assumed she was talking to the group in general. Later, my daughter told me, “Mom, my friend was talking to you.” I was like, “Oh! I didn’t know.” Turns out, she was asking if they could have a play date. Long story short, I wanted to meet her mother first, and as it turned out, her mother is blind. Oh, no wonder she doesn’t make eye contact! It was such a normal thing for her because her mother doesn’t really make eye contact. So that was interesting.

Here’s another one you might not think of: missing teeth. Yep. Especially when my daughter was five or six and lost a bunch all at once. Even with my hearing aids in, I had such a hard time understanding her until they grew back. Missing teeth, you guys, just another thing that makes lipreading a little extra challenging.

On a side note, happy September, everyone! Is it getting chilly where you live yet? Are the leaves red yet?

Every September, I would bake something “fall-y,” like chocolate chip pumpkin cookies, and I would watch my annual witchy movie: Practical Magic.

Now, some people would call it a Halloween movie, but for me, it’s a September tradition. Something cozy to look forward to when the weather isn't too hot anymore, but it's not quite cold yet... It's just witchy. In a way, it’s like the witch is “cursing” you with the weather you wish you had but didn’t get. Anyway, I think September is the perfect month for that.

So if you’re in the mood, watch it with me on Hulu. Light a candle, grab a snack, pumpkin if you like, or caramel apples if you don’t.

Thanks for hanging out with me today. Have a witchy week, and may the witch un-curse you from the weather you don’t want.

Talk to you later. Bye!

So, every day I pick up my kids from school, and right across the street from their school is a funeral home. Which means on the way there, I end up noticing things happening over there. It sits along the main road in front of the school, with tombstones, flowers, and sometimes people visiting.

The other day, I saw a group gathered around a very small coffin. Probably a child. The day before that, I noticed someone tying a football balloon with a university mascot on it, probably for a teenager, maybe a graduate. Two days before that, I saw a little family, a mom and two kids, having a small picnic, probably for a father. And then today, there was an older man standing alone in front of a headstone, head down. Probably someone he really cared about.

It’s not like I’m intentionally looking for this stuff. It’s just… right there, you know? On the busy road I drive every day. And every time I see someone, it makes me pause.

I’ve been to a few funerals before, but not for anyone super close to me, at least not yet. So when I see these little moments, it makes me stop and think. Like, while I’m just in my car doing my normal routine, right across the street, somebody’s whole world might just… might have just ended. Or maybe it feels like their world has fallen apart. Or maybe they’re still grieving someone years later. It’s like driving past little windows into grief, love, and memory, all mixed together.

And I don’t know, I… it just makes me want to hold my kids a little tighter after school. Makes me notice the ordinary days more. Sometimes, even though I’m not a hugger, I want to stop and hug whoever is standing at the gravesite. Can you imagine? Hugging a stranger like that? They’d probably be weirded out. Like “Hey… what are you doing?” “I don’t know!”

But if you’re that stranger, grieving, I haven’t experienced what you’ve gone through, but I want you to know I thought about you. I thought about hugging you. Just to make sure you’re okay, before I walk away and give you your alone time.

Anyway, that’s what’s been on my mind during school pick-ups lately. Thanks for listening, and I’ll talk to you later. Bye.